


15x06 Coda - What's God and What Isn't

by FunnyWings



Series: Codas/Canonverse Fics [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15.06 coda, 15x06 coda, Angst, Coda, Dean's POV, Hope that's cool, M/M, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Post-Episode: s15e06 Golden Time, my current personality is writing about how sad dean is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21557620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunnyWings/pseuds/FunnyWings
Summary: Dean struggles to cope with the idea of Chuck controlling his life.Excerpt:He was beginning to feel unstuck in the narrative, as if the totality of his reality was mixing together without his permission or conscious thought. And it wasn’t just the almost iterations of the million little cliche futures Chuck had written for them. It was the past. He was haunted by how he had played into Chuck’s hands, had followed his petty little rules.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Codas/Canonverse Fics [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117457
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	15x06 Coda - What's God and What Isn't

Dean snuck out of his room to steal the nasty tasting healthy cereal from the kitchen, spotting Eileen and Sam passed out in the Dean cave on the way there. It almost brought a smile to Dean’s face to see Eileen drowning in a combination of Dean and Sam’s borrowed clothing, face pressed into the arm of the couch and feet dangerously close to Sam’s drooling. Sam had called up the other Charlie to see if she could bring anything for the newly revived hunter, which Charlie had reluctantly agreed to only because she seemed to have a sixth sense that it was important to Sam.

As Dean continued tiptoeing towards the kitchen, he reflected on the fact that he had never really bonded with new Charlie the way he had with his Charlie. He supposed that was for the better now. What was the point of getting attached to anyone or anything when God himself was sock puppeting everything attached to your life story?

He was beginning to feel unstuck in the narrative, as if the totality of his reality was mixing together without his permission or conscious thought. And it wasn’t just the almost iterations of the million little cliche futures Chuck had written for them. It was the past. He was haunted by how he had played into Chuck’s hands, had followed his petty little rules.

Dean figured it’s not so fun to play with a toy that refuses to do the old song and dance anymore. He hoped he was boring Chuck to tears watching the same run of Scooby Doo episodes over and over. Anything to bring the end on a little quicker so he could go down fighting fate until Chuck got his stupid fucking ending.

Someone cleared their throat behind him, and Dean knew he’d been caught.

“I’ll buy you more cereal,” he grumbled, turning around to see Sam looking more annoyed than Dean thought was proportional.

“Cas texted.”

“Oh good,” muttered Dean.

“He, uh, said he was fine. Told me not to call unless we find something to do with Chuck,” said Sam. “Said he bagged a djinn.”

“Good for him,” said Dean. Sam gave him a look. “He’s a big boy, Sam. He can look out for himself.”

“Did you tell him to leave again?”

And just like that Dean felt unstuck in time. Like it was five years ago and Sam was possessed and it was Kevin asleep in the other room instead of Eileen. The feeling passed, leaving Dean unsteady, nauseous, and angry.

“No.”

“What did you say to him, then?” asked Sam. “Because the way he phrased it… he’s going his own way after we fix this thing with Chuck.”

“Ever consider that’s what he wants?” asked Dean. “If he isn’t part of Chuck’s story, then maybe he wants to live his own fucking life.”

“Dean-”

“You wonder if Eileen is part of Chuck’s master plot?” asked Dean. “I mean that’s why you fell asleep watching my TV with her right? Scared you’d look up and see her blood dripping down from the ceiling like Je-”

“Shut up!” snapped Sam, bringing Dean to his senses.

Instead of apologizing, Dean stuffed his hand into the cereal box and ate a fistful. Just because he knew he was pawn now doesn’t mean he had to act like such a fucking tool, but it felt like he couldn’t help it, damnit. Everything was too fucked up to keep track of, and he wanted to fall asleep without desperately clawing through his history wondering what was God and what wasn’t.

“If Cas wanted to be here, he would be here,” said Dean, and left it at that. “I’m the one who told him to check your messages in the first place, so get off my ass about him. He’s not my fucking wife, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.”

“Can you at least act like you care?” Sam muttered, turning away from Dean and walking back towards the Dean cave without waiting for an answer.

Dean didn’t correct him. Of course he cared. He always cared. Every time the damn angel disappeared there was a Cas sized hole of something inside him that made him want to fix things, no matter how shitty they got. Whether it was his fault or Cas’ or nobody’s in particular and the universe just seemed out to get them. He wanted to make Cas fit into his life, so the goddamn idiot would never leave him again. Because even when it got bad, Cas made him feel like he could breathe.

Funny how that sounded like a decent subplot for a subpar series of horror books written by a hack doing a Stephen King impression.

And Cas told Dean why he was in his life the first time they met, and in light of recent findings Dean wasn’t going to take the years between into consideration as anything other than plot filler.

He met Cas because God had work for him to do. A literal deus ex machina. A shiny plot device meant to make Dean’s heart beat a little faster between tragedies.

And that’s all Chuck fucking wrote.


End file.
